And justice for all

Ever wondered, the age old adage in Hindi – “Laalach buri bala hai“? Time and again, it makes me realize that these adages were drafted by more smarter individuals in the past and lesser mortals of today should start following them almost blindly. Else, the results could lead to situations that people call ’embarassing’. Not sure what I would call that.

On my way back from a recent trip to Rajasthan, I had to board my flight at Ahmedabad. The flight was Kingfisher Red and the scheduled departure of the flight was at 6 o’clock in the morning. (I am emphasizing on the word RED to clear all the misconceptions, because I still can’t afford to fly the Mallaya’s original Kingfisher. I am one of those souls who, if offered discount on air travel, would be happy to travel standing throughout the journey, even along side the aircraft’s toilet. The great Indian railway has made me immune to all the possible smells that one could possibly bear)

I reached Ahmedabad at four in the morning in a half sleepy, sandwiched state in one of those awefully uncomfortable night buses that are termed as “deluxe”, “luxury”, “superfast”, “night special”, with just enough leg space to accomodate a 5 year old kid, but definitely not an adult. The icing in the cake was provided by few gujju bhai with their mobile phones that played non stop music whole night, paying rich tributes to the legends of 80’s music (the Jitendra, Jaya Prada era where lyrics like “tohfa tohfa” caused a mass hysteria and Mithun da ruled the silver screen with his “jimmy jimmy” act)

It was a hopping flight with a stoppage at Mumbai. I wasn’t aware that they would serve breakfast, for they never did so when it was Deccan. Soon, the Lady in Red came up and handed me the packed breakfast that contained some stuff like doughnut, fruit juice, salads, ketchup and a cheese spread . Well, I am one of those good hygiene conscious guys who are averse to eating anything without doing their morning rituals of “you know what” ;-). Though I was craving to have a bite, I reluctantly decided to keep my resolution till I reached Bangalore and didn’t eat anything. Everyone around was happily munching and burping and I cursed the Marwari bhai, sitting on the aisle seat who ate his daughter’s doughnut as well. I decided, when nobody would be watching, I would silently slip all the breakfast stuff inside the polybag that I was carrying as the hand baggage and eat it afterwards.

Not aware of the reason, but we were asked to board a different aircraft at Mumbai. In the midst of the chaos that prevails while people get down from the aircraft, I took advantage of the confusion and quickly moved all the stuff inside the polybag. I felt happy for this accomplished mission, greeted the Lady in Red and moved out like a king, as if I had achieved something Indian Soccer team had never dreamt of. I got inside the bus that took us to board the new aircraft. Excited with my great achievement, I hurriedly peeked inside the polybag, but missed the correct angle and the whole of cheese spread fell on to my blue jacket. Gosh!! I was dumbstuck. I prayed to God to end this world at that moment, but nothing happened. Drop by drop, it spoilt my jacket completely. I took my jacket off, folded it like a gunny bag and imperiously stuffed it inside the polybag. But along with this ‘white lining’, came a silver lining as well, when I realized that it was the last seat of the bus and luckily for me, nobody had noticed πŸ˜‰

In the new aircraft, another Lady in Red came and asked – “Sir, what would you like to have for breakfast?”. I thought of answering – “Rin Supreme”.


8 Responses to And justice for all

  1. Utkarsh says:

    Haha, now that i’ve actually met gujju’s after coming this far frm home i could actually imagine guys playing loud music with their shiny gold going bling bling..Haha..
    I found it fun to read.Gud Job..

  2. shweta says:

    ha ha ha ha..
    cant stop laughing..BTW howz ur jacket doing now πŸ˜‰
    Loved the line – “But along with this β€˜white lining’, came a silver lining as well”

  3. Gururaj says:

    Hahaha, this one was well funny and very well described of the intricacies of Indians from different states.

  4. Shweta says:

    Hahahaha!!! fundoo tha sacchi..maza hi aa gaya….:)
    Kash!! itna intrsting mujhe bhi aata likhna!!

  5. Poor jacket was hungry too πŸ˜€ U need Vanish max πŸ˜‰

  6. preety says:

    This was hillarious as usual, first ur sense of humour is amazing, second u dont forget to insist on ur modest living standards:)), which makes ur writings always a pleasure to read…
    btw even i dint know that Kingfisher Red serves food, cause no other economy flight does it anymore…

  7. preety says:

    btw, what does “justice for all” mean here??? u dint do any justice to the etiquettes of the flight;);) surely not to ur jacket and to the poor breakfast, which am sure wud have been trashed after the fiasco and it certainly cannot be abt the justice to ur money spent for the “night special, super spacious” bus….

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